Ted is convinced that he will be sent to a parish even worse than Craggy Island if he goes through with the forfeit that Father Dick Byrne has set him, and he kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse. Dick wants photographic evidence of the deed, and he also tells Bishop Brennan that an image of him has appeared in the skirting boards of the Craggy Island parochial house, prompting the Bishop to pay Ted a visit.
Ted worries all night about his upcoming forfeit. Dougal has the idea that he should just kick Brennan up the arse and then act as if nothing has happened, because Bishop Brennan would never believe that Ted would do such a thing.
After some false starts, Ted manages to carry out the forfeit. Bishop Brennan leaves in a catatonic state. Ted, in a drunken stupor, tells Dougal to get many copies of the photograph printed and a ten by ten for himself.
Bishop Brennan finally snaps out of his trance just as he is about to meet the Pope. He mutters, He did kick me up the arse and returns to Craggy Island in an angry state. Ted convinces him that he did not do it, but just as Bishop Brennan is about to leave, he turns around to see a massive 10 foot by 10 foot photograph ( Dougal ordered the wrong size ) of Ted doing the deed outside the parochial house. The Bishop boots Ted up the arse.
[Ted worried about his upcoming forfeit]:
Father ted: I was just thinking about my next parish. Bishop Brennan is always threatening to send me somewhere unpleasant, and this time I think he just might go through with it. You see...I'm going to kick him up the arse.
[Dougal mis-addressing Bishop Brennan]:
Bishop Brennan: Don't call me "Len", you little prick! I'm a bishop!
Father Dougal: Oh right. (pause) Well done.
[Bishop Brennan back at Craggy Island parochial house after realising that Ted kicked him up the arse]:
Bishop Brennan: What brings me here, well I suppose the company, eh? Or the fresh air? Or the view from my window of that enormous pile of sludge?! But top of the list would be the matter of you kicking me up the arse!
The Kraken Awakes is a Tennyson poem about a sleeping creature that attacks its disturber.
An Audience With is a British television program started in 1978.
Mary Robinson was the 7th President of Ireland. She was in office from 1990 to 1997.